Networking: Another Good Reason For It

We've talked about the importance - and value - of networking ... for your own benefit (and those you network with), but here's another reason:

When the boss asks for your thoughts on something, it helps to have something new and useful to say!

This is but one of the implications gleaned from a summary of "Emergent Processes in Group Behavior," an article in Current Directions in Psychological Science, by Robert L. Goldstone, Michael E. Robers, and Todd M. Gureckis.

Think it through: If people on your team, or in your immediate work group, tend to interact primarily with each other, everyone is going to start to know the same things about the same things. And while this is helpful to a certain extent, it doesn't do much to expand the conversation beyond the obvious.

When issues are relatively isolated and/or straight-forward, this is typically not a problem. But, as task-complexity and solution-ambiguity increase - and more nuanced responses are required -, the similarity of everyone's viewpoint will likely severely limit what creativity and ingenuity is put into play.

"There is a hazard in connectivity. If everyone ends up knowing exactly the same thing, you have a world of like-minded people, and this homogeneous group ends up acting like a single explorer rather than a federation of ideas."

Better to "federate" your contributions with new and varied ideas from outside the fold. Better to purposefully stoke your imagination and inventiveness. How?!

Through the new and different conversations you're likely to have through networking, of course!

So what's something interesting and applicable that you've learned through your networking conversations?

Productivity, Leadership, and Motivation

Question: Do you have any tips on being more productive during the day?

• "Learn to say no. A computer runs at its slowest when it has too many operations open at once. The same applies to our own production." - Greg Reid


• "Divorce yourself of the idea that long hours and accomplishments are connected." - Vic Johnson

Question: Any advice on how I can be a better leader?

• "Be a person who can be counted on." - Cynthia Kersey

Question: How can I keep myself constantly motivated and on track?

• "The biggest problems people have in achieving goals is that they often try to make too many drastic changes all at once. Research indicates that when people are asked to make big, sweeping changes in their lives all at once, they get overwhelmed, become discouraged and commonly give up. The most effective way to create lasting change is to focus on one area at a time. Even the busiest person can find the time to take a single step." - CK

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Source: Success Magazine's 1on1: Getting the Most of Your Time (August/September 2008)

Platitudes & Attitudes

Some observations from Texas billionaire, T. Boone Pickens ...

MAKE THE CALL.

"Sometimes the window of opportunity is open only briefly... be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim to what I call the ready-aim-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome. You must be willing to fire."

ANALYZE WELL.

"Information is everything. You can never have enough, and as you get older you find that keeping current keeps you in the game."

LEARN FROM MISTAKES.

"It's all right to get your fingers crushed in the door, but don't let the same door crush them twice."

KEEP PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.

"Far too many executives have become more concerned with the four P's -- Pay, Perks, Power, and Prestige -- rather than making profits for shareholders."

HIRE GOOD PEOPLE.

"What I am always looking for is people who can do a job better than I can."

BALANCE IT OUT.

"Work eight hours and sleep eight hours, and make sure they are not the same eight hours."

FORGET ABOUT AGE.

"Give young people a chance."

HAVE A PLAN.

"A fool with a plan can outsmart a genius with no plan."

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Source: Success Magazine (November 2008)

When to NOT use Email

From BNET's At The Whiteboard: "Only 7 percent of what we say is conveyed through words -- tone and visual cues make up the other 93 percent. This is why emails are so often misunderstood. Ed Muzio of Group Harmonics suggests using email only when you should: to convey facts and data, and when no emotion or sensitive issues are involved."


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Source: http://www.bnet.com/2422-13731_23-241106.html

Why Dogs Don't Enjoy Music

"Anyone with normal hearing can distinguish between the musical tones of a scale: do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do. We take this ability for granted, but among most mammals the feat is unparallelled."

So reports Sandy Fritz in the October 2008 issue of Scientific American Mind, to the dismay of barking Labradors, woofing bassets, and yelping Yorkies, everywhere.

Yet a recently-concluded study by researchers at UCLA, the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and the Weizmann Institute of Science, concluded that "humans can easily detect frequencies as fine as one twelfth of an octave -- a half step in musical terminology. Dogs can only discriminate resolutions of one third of an octave."

What's the inference from a leadership development standpoint? Well, the flippant answer might be that the people who say they don't understand you ... are dogs! But a more respectful analysis might conclude that your message is, at times, a bit too subtle (or convoluted?) for them to make sense of.

Granted, this conclusion has less to do with hearing than understanding, but if you stay with me a longer, I think it will be worth your while.

Subtlety is often considered a more "refined" form of communication. The problem with subtle communications, though, is that they ask the listener -- they require the listener -- to be much more discerning when listening. And depending on circumstances, that could be asking a LOT from someone. Too much, perhaps.

Indeed, expecting someone to give you their full and Undivided Attention could be far more than they're ready for, or capable of, in this busy, distracted, juggling priorities, go-go, world of ours.

So what if we purposefully avoided such splitting of dog hairs when we're sharing our content with others? What if we focused, instead, on talking more clearly and crisply (and in larger octave steps, perhaps?) so that everyone -- even those with lesser abilities to listen so carefully -- could completely understand what we're talking about anyway?

What would that sound like, I wonder?

Hopefully, this isn't too subtle a point to be making. Hopefully, it will encourage (and help) you to communicate more effectively than you might otherwise.

And, hopefully, that will be music to your listeners' ears.

Conflict Dynamic Profile for Individuals

GottaGettaCoach! has just started working with a new assessment called the CDP-I, or Conflict Dynamics Profile^® for Individuals.

"The Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) was developed by the Leadership Development Institute at Eckerd College to prevent harmful conflict in the workplace. It provides managers and employees with a greater awareness of how they respond when faced with conflict so that they can improve on those behaviors causing the most problems.

"The CDP's focus on conflict behaviors, rather than styles, emphasizes an action-oriented approach which lessens the problems associated with harmful or unproductive forms of conflict and results in more effective conflict management skills.

"As a psychometrically sound instrument, the CDP shows solid evidence of reliability and validity and has been normed against a variety of organizations. Easily completed in 20-25 minutes, the CDP comes with a thorough Development Guide offering practical tips and strategies for strengthening conflict management skills."

More specifically, the CDP-I assessment:

1. Identifies your Constructive Responses, that is, how well you demonstrate the following desirable behaviors during a conflict
2. Identifies your Destructive Responses, that is, how well you control the following undesirable behaviors during a conflict
3. Identifies your Hot Buttons, that is, what tends to frustrate or irritate you about how others behave.

So why is this even important? Because once you are more fully aware of your automatic "reactions" to a conflict, the better you will be able to more effectively self-manage your "responses" to that conflict and properly de-escalate it.

If you're interested in the CDP-I, please drop me a line and we'll assess your conflict behavior together.

Allowing H-I-STORY to Unfold

Back in March of 2007, I suggested a method for putting your best foot forward in an interview by sharing your Success Stories using the P-A-R framework:

• P - Start by stating a PROBLEM you've dealt with that is relevant to one that your prospective employer might have and/or want you to be able to address.
• A - Next, explain the APPROACH you took to meaningfully, if not eloquently, resolve the problem.
• R - Then share how the RESULTS you achieved not only solved the immediate problem, but enabled additional downstream benefits as well.

As an alternative to P-A-R, you might also use the H-I-STORY approach:

• H - Crisply state the HEADLINE for the story you're about to tell.
• I - Assert just how IMPOSSIBLE the achievement would typically be given the circumstances your about to share.
• STORY - After asking if they'd like to hear more, share your STORY.

Customer Crisis Example:

"Share a particularly challenging situation you faced when managing an client account."

Sure, I'd be happy to. I guess you could say that the HEADLINE for this example would be: "Client Account Saved through Amazing Teamwork!"

The situation was pretty IMPOSSIBLE, actually. Client satisfaction was at an all-time low, they already told us contract renewal would be delayed pending RFP results, and some of our team members had pretty much checked out because of all the complaining about them.

Would you like to hear the rest of the STORY?

Well, we realized that the only way to salvage the account was resolve about 85% of the client's outstanding concerns. (We didn't think we could solve all of their problems, but figured that if we resolved enough of them, we could show that we had 'rehabilitated' ourselves and were now back on the path.) To do so, we developed what we called an Expedited Three-Step:

1. Step One - We conducted a series of 1-on-1 and group brainstorming sessions, both internally, and with our client contacts, to determine what we needed - and could count on - from everyone on both sides of the table - to complete our turnaround.
2. Step Two - Armed with that insight, we sat down with our Big Boss and got authorization to establish an emergency SWAT team to assist us in our expedited efforts.
3. Step Three - Implementation. The trick was getting people to step out of their comfort zones, take some risks, and really play full-out, like never before. It took a lot of give-and-take, late-night 'get-er-done' sessions, and way-too-much cold pizza, but, soon, we able to show the client some truly meaningful progress, enough to earn a no-bid extension of the contract in question.

Clearly, it never would've happened without some amazing teamwork to bring it all home and I'm so pleased to be able to say that I helped it all come together like that!

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Many otherwise fully-qualified applicants take too long to get to the punch-line of their story. The value of the H-I-STORY approach, then, is that it puts the headline first. Then, and only then, is the story told - but even still, not until the interviewer agrees that it's a story worth hearing.

Do you see how good things are just more likely to naturally unfold when you've captured your interviewer's Undivided Attention, like that?! Try it and see for yourself.

Brainstorming Basics

An article in the Wall Street Journal caught my eye. In Productive Brainstorms Take the Right Mix of Elements, Kelly K. Spors interviewed Matt Bowen, president and CEO of Aloft Group, Inc. about brainstorming basics.

The key to effective brainstorming: Not squelching other people's ideas.

"There's a whole procedure involved," says Bowen. "Step One is to identify, very clearly in one sentence only, what the [specific goal] is going to be. Send it out a day or two in advance so employees start subconsciously thinking about it.

"The second stage is gather people together. Brainstorming sessions should never last more than an hour. They shouldn't be too large, usually no more than five or seven people, especially when you're first learning how to do it."

Bowen's House Rules include: Saying "Our goal is to produce X number of ideas"; no critiquing; no editing; and, most importantly, building on other people's ideas.

Diversity helps, so bringing in people from other departments is encouraged. Bowen calls them "agitators - somebody you know who is going to come in with a different [spin on things]."

Before you start, though, it's important to establish criteria to subsequently rate and the ideas that are generated. Examples of such litmuses:

• Our ultimate solution has to be complete-able within three weeks
• Our ultimate solution has to cost no more than the budget allocated for it
• Our ultimate solution has to also address these tangential issues
• Our ultimate solution has to involve the following stakeholders

While brainstorming can be a creative and fun process, don't take it too casually. Per Bowan, "A surefire way to kill an innovative process is to go through the processes and then never implement one of the ideas. You need to show that you're trying to implement something."

Agreed.

Self Doubt? Get Out!

An article in the March 2008 issue of Dance Magazine (my daughter subscribes!) caught my eye. Written by Anne L. Wennerstrand and titled, "Hang in There," the piece "counsels dancers not to let self-doubt stand in the way of building a career."

Indeed. And there's broader applicability, as well. Per the author:

"No matter where you are in your career [bz: or what career you're in], you can stay encouraged by learning how to respond differently to your circumstances. With a little benign curiosity, you can feel more empowered and energized in the face of inevitable disappointments."

Benign curiosity. I like that notion.

Emily was an accomplished ballerina who held an unquestioned belief that if she wasn't "special enough" she wouldn't be worthy of future success and approval. As a result, she placed way too much importance on what others thought of her work. Through benign reflection she realized that this was due, in large part, to her early ballet teachers who "devalued her abilities in class, forcing her to prove herself worthy of their attention." Wow!

Michael, a musical theater dancer, would become extremely anxious and fearful when preparing to audition, notwithstanding his success in a number of prior shows. Through benign curiosity he learned that the voices in his head were really those of his family, who never really supported his love of dance in the first place. Hmmm.

So what is YOUR self-talk telling you and where did those ideas initially come from?

Likely, from a very long time ago. "The voices of self-doubt that a dancer [bz: or anyone else] may hear," writes Ms. Wennerstrand, "are often the result of the “outside getting inside.” These voices can be those of parents, teachers, and authority figures who were once relied upon for safety and approval. By developing awareness, dancers [bz: and others] can learn to question some of those internalized voices."

So don't just listen to your negative self-talk and accept it as truth, wonder about its truth. Question its truth. Consider that it may NO LONGER be true. ASSERT that it doesn't have to be true.

And tell your self-doubt to get out!

How Happy Are You?

So how happy ARE you?! Here's a fun little quiz courtesy of the Chicago Tribune and the Psychological Flourishing Scale:

Step One - Answer each of the 12 statements below:

1. I lead a purposeful and meaningful life.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
2. My social relationships are supportive and rewarding.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
3. I am engaged and interested in my daily activities.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
4. I actively contribute to the happiness and well-being of others.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
5. I am competent and capable in the activities that are important to me.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
6. I am a good person and live a good life.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
7. My material life (income, housing, etc.) is sufficient for my needs.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
8. I generally trust others and feel part of my community.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
9. I am satisfied with my religious or spiritual life.
   A. Strongly agree
   B. Agree
   C. Slightly agree
   D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
   E. Slightly disagree
   F. Disagree
   G. Strongly disagree
10. I am optimistic about the future.
    A. Strongly agree
    B. Agree
    C. Slightly agree
    D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
    E. Slightly disagree
    F. Disagree
    G. Strongly disagree
11. I have no addictions, such as to alcohol, illicit drugs, or gambling.
    A. Strongly agree
    B. Agree
    C. Slightly agree
    D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
    E. Slightly disagree
    F. Disagree
    G. Strongly disagree
12. People respect me.
    A. Strongly agree
    B. Agree
    C. Slightly agree
    D. Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree
    E. Slightly disagree
    F. Disagree
    G. Strongly disagree

Step Two - Calculate your happiness/flourishing score as follows:

• Give yourself 7 points for each Strongly agree response
• Give yourself 6 points for each Agree response
• Give yourself 5 points for each Slightly agree response
• Give yourself 4 points for each Mixed, or neither agree or nor disagree response
• Give yourself 3 points for each Slightly disagree response
• Give yourself 2 points for each Disagree response
• Give yourself 1 point for each Strongly disagree response

Step Three - Consider your results:

• 80-84 = Extremely high flourishing
• 74-79 = Very high flourishing
• 68-73 = High flourishing
• 60-67 = Flourishing
• 48-59 = Slight lack of flourishing
• 32-47 = Lack of flourishing
• 12-31 = Extremely low flourishing

Step Four - Next Steps:

Happy with what you found?! If so, GREAT! If not, review the 12 questions and decide which ones you want to happily flourish more with.

Crain's Chicago Business quotes Barry Zweibel

September 29, 2008 - Barry Zweibel was quoted in "Laid-back Layoffs", an article by Crystal Yednak, in today's issue of Chicago Business.

Successful Change ... or Not!

Change is easy. Successful? Less so. Why? Here are two models that discuss this very thing:

(1) Successful Transformation Model. (Source: Daniel Ferdinand, Principle, Momentum HR Services.)(2) Understanding What Derails Change in the Workplace. (Source: unknown, but a big fave here at GGCI.)Pay particular attention the the far-right column on each chart - if you recognize the sentiment, move left to identify what's likely missing from (and undermining) your change initiative.

Correct as necessary.

Laughing Reduces Stress

According to a bit in the June/July 2008 issue of Scientific American Mind magazine, "Anticipating a good laugh whisks away stress."

Research scientists at a California University conducted the following experiment: They asked one group of men to watch a funny video and another to page through a bunch of periodicals. Lo and behold, the group that saw the comedy had "much lower levels of stress hormones such as cortisol" as compared to the magazine group.

Of particular note was this: The movie watchers' stress levels went down before the film even began!

In other words, the mere anticipation of laughing provided some of the exact same stress-reducing benefits as actually laughing.

Now that's funny, don't you think?! (To reduce stress, I recommend that you laugh whether you think so or not!)

Locus of Control: Self-Management across the Continuum

Based on Julian Rotter's work in the late 1950's, Locus of Control is about peoples' perceptions about why they do the things they do and, by extension, why things are the way they are - at work, and in life:

• The more we believe that our behavior is guided by fate, luck, or other external circumstances, the more of an external Locus of Control it can be said we have.
• Conversely, the more we believe that our behavior is guided by our personal decisions and efforts, the more of an internal Locus of Control we can say we have.

(Did you notice how I used "it" when defining external, and "we" when defining internal?! Sometimes, the basis of one's Locus of Control can be that subtle.)

Now typically, coaches don't spend a lot of time on the "Why?" question - let alone findings that come from observing therapy patients, as did Rotter's. But Locus of Control is an important concept to understand if we want to truly maximize our potential.

What's important to realize, and as the chart indicates below, is that one's Locus of Control is not fixed or unmovable; actually, it's more of a point on a line - a point that routinely shifts, quite radically at times, depending on issue and circumstance.

So rarely does someone always embrace an external Locus or Control. Rarely does someone always embrace an internal Locus of Control, either.

And therein lies the power of the notion, because: If your Locus of Control can shift without you realizing it, it can also be made to shift because you realize it.

• Feeling that everyone (and everything) is working against you? Shifting to more of an internal Locus of Control will help you be a bit more assertive and/or realize it's time to take a more decisive action to move things meaningfully forward.
• Blaming yourself when things go wrong - even when they're not your fault? Shifting to more of an external Locus of Control will help you accept that certain circumstances (and failings) really are out of your control and it's really okay to give yourself a break every now-and-again.
• Struggling in a personal relationship that's not working no matter what you do? Shifting to more of an external Locus of Control will help you request that the other person step-it-up a notch or two, as well, and not just leave it all for you to do.
• Sensing you're not in a good mood much of the time? Shifting to more of an internal Locus of Control will help you accept responsibility for the state of your mood and do something enjoyable to chipper yourself up a bit.

Locus of Control is no panacea - it's more just a way to explain the "why?" behind the "what?". But it's also a great way to help become more conscious and purposeful of what you do, say, and believe - all keys to effective self-management ... and success.

What do you know about your Energy Levels?

Had an interesting conversation with a former client yesterday – we got to talking about energy levels vis-à-vis time-o-day.

“I’m a morning guy," he said, "so I like to work out in the evening.”

Counter-intuitive thinking like that fascinates me. Turns out that although he likes to "hit it hard" at the gym, working out is relaxing for him - something he'll do anyway. So, he prefers to focus his high energy periods on work, rather than working out.

Now I consider myself pretty self-aware on a lot of levels, but I have to admit that I have only a very basic sense of how my energy level relates to time-o-day. For me, it seems to be more a function of what I’m doing, or planning to do, rather than when I'm doing it: If it’s "important" work, or fun, my energy tends to run high; if there’s not much on my plate, not much energy.

How about you? What do you know about how your energy operates?

Deciphering Priorities

It goes by a variety of last names, but its first name is always the same:

• "Another" Number One Priority
• "Another" hot-hot one
• "Another" just get 'er done
• "Another" by-end-of-day deliverable
• "Another" rush request
• "Another" gotta do to-do
• "Another" can't-wait task
• "Another" small thing
• "Another" request from on-high
• "Another" oh, just one more thing before you go

Whatever name you know it by, your boss just gave you "Another" one - and you're fit to be tied. Oh well, that's life!

Oh, sure, you can just refuse it, but that's not a great strategy this time of year - especially it you haven't had your mid-year performance review yet.

So what to do? I like to ask two key questions:

Key Question #1: Do you want this done before, or after, that?

Most people know to ask the "What's the Priority?" question, but the problem with that is that it's really hard to say those words without sounding particularly defensive - or dismissive. Plus, when asked, its typical response is an equally dismissive and defensive, "They're both important."

But, by asking your boss if s/he wants this done "before, or after that", you're not challenging his/her right to move work through the system. You're not questioning his/her ability to push back on his/her boss. And you're not allowing it to be inferred hat you're so bad at time management that virtually anything out of the blue would likely send you into a tizzy, and undermine your credibility as a value-added contributor to the cause even more.

No, by asking your boss if s/he wants this done "before, or after that", you're showing you understand that some Number One Priorities, some hot-hot ones ... some get 'er dones ... etc., need to get done before others even if they weren't assigned to you in that same order. Too, it allows the boss the opportunity to consider which s/he would like completed first, which is a very helpful - for the both of you - to know.

Key Question #2: What's the minimum you need to make this work for you?

Here's how it works: There's what the boss wants ideally; there's what the boss can realistically work with; what would be minimally acceptable; and what falls short. Your goal in such situations, is to provide what's minimally acceptable ... and maybe a bit more, but only if it's easier to just include more, not because you have to include more.

Think it through: You're busy, overloaded, slammed ... whatever. Now is not the time to luxuriate in your perfectionistic tendencies - it's time to just get 'er done.

So how will you know when done is done? By knowing what's the minimum that your boss needs to make it work for him or her and working to achieve that, ASAP.

Need a metaphor for these particular busy spells? Okay, assignments are like toll booths. Your job is to provide exactly what's required ... no more ... and certainly not a penny less.

The Five (or Six) Truths About Fear

Susan Jeffers, in her ground-breaking book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, identified five basic truths about fear^a:

1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out … and do it.
3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out … and do it.
4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

"By now you've gotten the picture," writes Dr. Jeffers. "We can't escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us in all our exciting adventures ... Some people have told me they are never afraid, but when I question them, they reveal that we are just differing on semantics. Yes, they feel nervous or anxious sometimes - they simply never labeled it as fear."

Know, though, that whether you label it as fear, or not:

Unfamiliarity with HOW to do something is not the same as Inability TO do something.

So, the next time you find yourself "feeling the fear", or feeling nervous, or anxious, or whatever it is you feel when you're in an unfamiliar space ... STOP ... and remind yourself that just because you haven't done this particular thing before, it does not mean you're incapable of doing it (or learning to do it).

This simple realization is central to all personal / professional growth ... all relationship growth ... all leadership growth ...all life growth ... all everything growth.

So I want to add a 6^th Truth of Fear to the list:

6. Our ability to push through fear has far less to do with the difficulty of a given situation - real or imagined - than it does with our readiness to learn and grow, regardless of circumstance.

As such, it seems to me that fear can be recast as a basic "invitation to learn", rather than an inhibitor of learning.

Ha! I guess you could say that while "opportunity knocks but once," fear rings the bell again and again and again - until you accept its invitation to come out and play!

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^aTaken from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway^®, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. Copyright ©1987-2008 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

How Are You Holding Your Staff Accountable?

• Do you assign tasks to your direct reports that never get done?
• Do you find that if you don't follow-up on open items you never hear about them again?
• Do you have to repeatedly remind people to do what they said they would?
• Do you believe that the quality of the work coming back to you is sub-standard?
• Do you not delegate as much as you might because it's just easier to do it yourself?

Worry not - or at least don't worry a lot about it. The bad news is that you're likely not holding your staff sufficiently accountable for the 'extra' work you give them. The good news, though, is that it's not all that difficult to change that. You simply need to get a little clearer with them about your assignments and their implications:

• The Who - "Here's why I'm choosing you do work on this assignment..." - Maybe it's because it's in the person's area of responsibility, maybe it's because you see this as an important developmental stretch for the person, maybe it's because of some particular competency the individual possesses. Regardless, be clear to whoever is the "Who" that s/he is the "Who."

• The What - "Here's what I specifically want you to accomplish..." - Try being more specific about what you want than you usually are. So if you want pie charts instead of bar graphs for some reason, say so on the front end, before the work is completed. If you want a year-over-year analysis when it's more typical to just give YTD figures, specifically say so. If you want a detailed plan, explain what you mean by "detailed." Since you're the one giving the assignment, you get to be the one who asks for what you really want, not just for something in the neighborhood. And that includes what types of interim updates you want from the person, along the way, as well.

• The Why - "Here's the reason why I want you to do this..." - Don't underestimate the value of explaining your Why to people. It really helps. Two caveats, though: (1) if you're in a real crisis situation (not just feeling under pressure) you may not have time to explain the Why, so quickly state that fact and offer to provide the additional background information about your request once the crisis subsides, if the person is still interested; (2) if it's clear that your delegatee truly understands the Why already, it may not be necessary to provide line-and-verse about it. It's best to be sure, though, which you can do by simply asking them to explain to you the Why. Don't forget to explain the Why behind your those interim updates you want, either.

• The When -"I'd like to get the finished product back from you by..." - Back in my days in the telecommunications world I worked with a purchasing agent (I'll call her Phyllis) who taught me a very important lesson about the When. I needed some telecom gear in a hurry, so I filled out the necessary paperwork and in the box that asked "When Needed" I put the letters ASAP, meaning As Soon As Possible. When the gear didn't come, I went to visit Phyllis personally to find out what was (not) going on. "Didn't you see my ASAP?" I asked her. "Yes, I did," she replied, "But Barry, you have to understand, I'm a very busy person. And there are only so many hours in a day. It was just not possible for me to get to your request yet." And she was dead-serious. "So what am I supposed to do if I really need something right away, Phyllis?" I asked while teetering on the edge of insanity. "Oh, that's easy, just put today's date in the When Needed box on the form," she said with a smile that curiously made it seem like she was really trying to be helpful. "Really?!" "Yes, really!" So a few days later I tried Phyllis' suggestion ... and you know what? It worked perfectly! The moral of this story: Make sure you're asking for the right When in the right way. And that includes the When you want those interim updates, too.

There's the Where and the How, too, but I'll leave them to you to figure out.

I'll also leave to you an obvious implication of all of this: You'll likely need to think through the Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How a bit more before you start to delegate. If you do, though, I guarantee it will be time well spent.

From (totally) Perfect to (merely) Excellent

I work a lot with executives who relish their perfectionism - and why not, it's what, in large part, got them promoted to be executives.

To help them 're-frame' how they think about their work, I have them do a little exercise. First, I have them draw a line from left to right, with arrows on each end; a continuum, if you will:

On it, I then have them put a big A on the far left and label it (inescapably) Awful; and a big P on the far right and label it (totally) Perfect. Like this, perhaps:

I then ask where on the line they'd put an E,which stands for (merely) Excellent - still excellent, but just barely so.

E

If you do this exercise yourself, be sure to notice that wherever you put your E - it's likely somewhat left of P, but still considerably to the right of A. That is, meaningfully less than (totally) Perfect, but still nowhere near (inescapably) Awful.

My challenge to them - and to you - is to spend the next two weeks operating in the E space - wherever it's located - to see what that's like.

If you do, you'll likely find, as they do, that not one person (excepting yourself) will notice any decrease in your performance whatsoever. And, by allowing yourself to be just (merely) Excellent you'll free up literally hours of time in your workweek - and at home - that you can then use to complete several other things in a (merely) Excellent way AND still have time to clean up your overflowing email inbox already, for crying out loud!

It's a fun little experiment, one that I invite you to try.

And what if someone becomes dissatisfied with your (merely) Excellent performance? Don't worry. For now, just apologize and indulge yourself in making things (totally) Perfect.

It'll still be the exception, rather than the rule.

New Thinking; New Doing

Ever have one of those weeks where nothing seems to go right?! While it's perfectly normal for that to happen from time to time, the bigger question is:

"Is there anything you can you do, besides just being patient, to help insure that next week will be better?"

I believe there is and that the answer has a lot to do with what I'll call New Thinking; New Doing. The idea is to force your brain to create new synapses - ones that wouldn't normally occur - as a way of jump-starting your mind into a more resourceful place. Here's how:

1. Pick a topic, preferably one you have some definite views about
2. Take the other side of the story and embrace it even more fervently
3. Smile at how clever you are to have been able to do that

Some examples?

• If you're a New York Yankees fan, be a die-hard BoSox supporter for a day and see how your fanaticism is far more transferable than you realized.
• If you're a red, red, meat eater, be a vegan for a few days and see what happens to your views about food.
• If you're a strident Barack Obama supporter figure out what Hillary Clinton should do to win the Democratic Party's nomination.
• If you're classical music lover, switch to jazz or C&W and allow the emotions of the music to 'speak' to you.

One of the things that keep us stuck - especially when things get tough - is when we become even more entrenched with what we believe to be true. Consciously challenging yourself (and your myopia) is precisely what New Thinking; New Doing is all about.

See what it can do for you.

Fear 303: A Revised Model of Fear

Last month I forwarded a model - Fear 101 - to explain how many people conceptualize fear. As you may recall, there was an inner core of Fearlessness, surrounded by a ring of Courageousness, encapsulated in a vast Infinity and Beyond called, The Land of Fear.

Since then, I've received numerous emails and phone calls from people telling me that that's exactly how they envision fear, too. Very gratifying, indeed.

The Next Step in the process, then, was for me was to figure out how to re-frame fear so that it would not be so large-and-in-charge as it is in the Fear 101 model. The “aha moment” came once I was ready to accept the possibility that Infinity and Beyond was just too big and unlimited a space for fear to claim so unilaterally. It was only then that I realized that Infinity and Beyond was not, ipso facto, the Land of Fear – it was simply a Benign Unknown.

What a wonderful shift!

The resultant upgrade, dubbed Fear 303, looks and works as such:

Starting at the back of the pack is this huge Benign Unknown stretching out in most directions. Within it (and bubbling out of it in places) is this thing called Opportunity.

So that we're clear, Opportunity is a good thing.

Next, as the blue bubble indicates, our natural response to Opportunity is often Fearlessness. This, too, is a good thing, as Fearlessness often empowers us to positively leverage Opportunity.

For sticklers to detail, it should be noted that the Fear 303 model recognizes that, sometimes, Fearlessness splashes out past Opportunity and into other areas of the Benign Unknown that may neither be opportunities, nor so benign. But that's just the way things are, sometimes, right? (I failed to recognize that in Fear 202, which is why I didn't post it between 101 and 303.)

So here’s where I think it gets nice and juicy: Instead of allowing Fear to "own" all of Infinity and Beyond, Fear is now relegated to a small little cloud in the lower right-hand corner of the diagram. Like Fearlessness, Fear also overlays Opportunity - some opportunities do, indeed, frighten us - and parts of Fear splash out, as well, into the Benign Unknown, and into parts of the Unknown that may not be benign. That really is the way things are, sometimes, right?!

But in the Fear 303 model, Fear is clearly a whole lot less featured – especially when you consider how Fear is mostly covered by Courageousness in service to Opportunity.

Sure, sometimes Fear still prevents us from moving forward, but it does so to a considerably lesser extent than in Fear 101. Indeed, once we recognize that Fear does not have to be our default reaction to the Unknown, it is majorly dis-empowered and has significantly less automatic say-so over how we react to what's going on around us. We are at choice.

That feels very motivating (and plausible) to me. How does it feel to you?

Fear 101: A Model

I've been talking to a number of people about fear lately and decided to diagram what a prevailing mental model is for many with respect to fear:

As you see, the inner core represents one's fearlessness – that is the place where we have no fear. For some this is a very big place; for others it can be fairly small. As they say, individual results may vary.

Surrounding this inner core is a ring of courageousness – the place where, as Susan Jeffers^a would say, we are willing to "feel the fear and do it, anyway."

As with the fearlessness core, the courageousness ring is a very big place for some, and a relatively small place for others. Too, and this is something you've likely already experienced yourselves, the actual size of these two areas will vary greatly depending on circumstance, mood, comfort level, and a variety of other variables.

Surrounding all of that – and this was the real light bulb realization for me, as it may be for you – is a veritable Infinity and Beyond ... of fear. Yes, for many people, anything outside of what they're already fearless - or willing to be courageous - about, is a never ending Land of Fear.

Of course, not everyone looks at it this way - although a surprising number of people really do. (And to a certain extent, you might, too, if you're being really honest with yourself.) So perhaps you can appreciate that I mean no disrespect when I say,

This is hardly a Model for Champions!

What it is, though, is a pretty frightening diagram. Scary to even look at, actually, with its big, hairy, eyeball staring back like that. Remember that Far Side cartoon – “Warning: Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” and all you see is one big, fat, blood-shot, monster’s eyeball?! Like that, don't you think?!

Although that may just be the fear talking!

But, when we consider that virtually everything outside of our fearlessness and courageousness zones is in the Land of Fear, it's no wonder why feelings of fear, worry, and doubt can seem so incessant. After all, Infinity and Beyond, by it's very definition, is a pretty big place!

Okay, so this said,the Next Step is to figure out how to re-frame our model so that fear is not so featured as the kingpin of the whole thing.

Stay tuned!

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^a Taken from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway^®, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. Copyright ©1987-2008 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

Superbrain Yoga, anyone?

I just read about something called Superbrain Yoga^® - a seemingly simple and reportedly effective technique for energizing and recharging the brain that's based on the principles of subtle energy and ear acupuncture.

AARP magazine ran the story on Superbrain Yoga in its March/April 2008 edition. Here's what they had to say:

"While yoga has long been shown to affect mood, one yoga move in particular is getting attention for boosting brainpower. Superbrain Yoga, as the exercise is called, is being practiced across the country as an antidote to brain drain. Go ahead. Try it!

"Step 1 - Place your left hand on your right earlobe, thumb on the front of the lobe with fingernail facing outward and second finger behind the earlobe. Then, with your right hand, grasp your left earlobe, again keeping your thumb on the front of the lobe, facing outward. Press both earlobes simultaneously, making sure your left arm is close to your chest and inside your right (which devotees say helps energy travel upward to the brain).

"Step 2 - As you press on the earlobes, squat down, keeping your back straight. Do 10 to 12 deep bends, inhaling through the nose on the way down and exhaling through the mouth coming up.

"Step 3 - Repeat daily."

Has anyone had any experience with Superbrain yoga? If so, please share.

pzizz is it!

I use pzizz to help me fall asleep at night. I use pzizz when I need a pick-me-up. I like it so much that I'm now a pzizz affiliate. So what is pzizz?!

pzizz is a Mac and Windows software application, that you can listen to on your PC, or download to an iPod or MP3 player, that generates special soundtracks to help you take a quick nap or fall asleep for the night.

pzizz works in as little as 15-20 minutes to clear your brain, improve your focus, lower your stress, help you relax, and leave you feeling quite energized and refreshed, actually.

• During the day, I create a 20-minute MP3 using the pzizz Energizer Module to take a quick speed-nap.
• At night, I use the pzizz Sleep Module and in less than 15 minutes I'm out like a light! (It works so well that I fall into a deep, relaxing, sleep even when I try to stay awake!)

pzizz does what it does in the way it mixes words, music, and sound effects into novel, but recognizable, soundtracks that engage me to nod off. Yeah, it does seem counter-intuitive to say that it engages me to fall asleep, but it really does!

I think it has something to do with the fact that each new nap that the system generates is slightly different than the one before so there's always a bit of the familiar, and a bit of the new, in every recording.

So if you're having trouble falling asleep at night, or feel like a quick power nap would really help, give pzizz a try.

Thanks.

Control, Challenge, Commitment

In their book, The Hardy Executive: Health Under Stress, authors Salvatore R. Maddi and Suzanne C. Kobasa offer a unique view on the "positive benefits of stress" for executives. The good news is that a particular personality style - hardiness - is actually quite resistant to stress.

"People with hardiness work hard because they enjoy it, rather than because they are compulsively driven. They make decisions and implement them because they view life as something constructed, rather than given. And they are enthusiastic about the future because the changes it will bring seem potentially worthwhile. Despite the anxieties and risks they encounter, these people find their lifestyles generally exciting and satisfying, in part because it is strenuous."

The better news is that hardiness can be defined as the simple combination of just three tendencies - namely, toward control rather than powerlessness, toward challenge rather than threat, and toward commitment rather than alienation.

And the even better news is that hardiness can be "instilled in adults" rather readily. Here's how:

To increase your sense of control - Believe (or just act as if you believe to start) that you really can influence what's going on around you. Dig into how you might turn a given situation to your advantage; don't just accept things the way they are as oftentimes very small changes can make huge differences. (In contrast, people who feel powerless act like passive victims, show little initiative, fail to utilize the resources they already have at their disposal as effectively as they might, and tend to get stuck in their own myopia.)

To increase your sense of challenge - Realize that it's natural for things to change and that change is often a "useful stimulus" for, as I like to say, helping good things happen sooner. Rather than seeing your work (or life) as strenuous instead of exciting, practice seeing it as exciting because it's strenuous. (In contrast, people who feel threatened tend to think that it's natural for things to stay stable - which it's not - and fear change because they think it will overly disrupt their comfort and security - which it often does not.)

To increase your sense of commitment - Get interested in whatever you're doing - as in really interested. Dig in wholeheartedly, cheerfully, zestfully! (In contrast, alienated people tend to hold back, label their work as boring, and often appear exhausted and disheveled.)

So whenever you start to feel the negative effects of stress and strain, consider how you might assert more control over the situation, how you might see it as more of a personal or professional challenge to step up to, and how you might commit more fully to it and, as a result, your own well-being.

In other words, focus on becoming more of a Hardy Executive.

Write It Down; Bring It With You

Ever attend an important meeting - one where you really wanted to make a good impression - and then as soon as the meeting started you forgot all the wonderfully insightful points you were going to raise?! You're not alone - it happens to a LOT of people, actually. I could tell you exactly how many people, but, unfortunately, I forgot to write it down!

And the last three words of the problem, become its solution: Write it down!

Yes, write it down - whatever "it" happens to be - and bring it with you - to wherever you need it to be.

Unless your an actor, actress, professional singer/songwriter, or rogue card-counting gambler, the ability to memorize is rarely a prerequisite for success.

There's no downside to bringing notes with you to an important meeting, sales call, performance review, interview, etc.

• Best Case: You're so in the zone that you don't need to look at your notes.
• Worst Case: You're asked about them, to which you can simply say that you felt the conversation important enough to: (a) properly prepare; and (b) be sure not to digress off-point ... out of respect for the topic and the meetings attendees.

Tell me, who would fault you for that?

Enabling Successful Change

Six elements are needed to successfully enable change*

1. A clear and compelling case for change
2. Demonstrated leadership commitment
3. A clear WIIFM (what's in it for me?) for all
4. A concrete implementation plan
5. Necessary skills, knowledge, and tools
6. Proper reinforcements

If any one (or more) of the six elements are missing or underdeveloped, the change initiative will likely be derailed in some manner or fashion.

So how can you learn which element(s) are missing or underdeveloped? Just listen to what people are saying:

• If they're saying, "it's not urgent," that likely means that a clear, compelling case for change - element 1 - is missing or underdeveloped.
• If they're saying, "it's not real," that likely means that demonstrated leadership commitment - element 2 - is missing or underdeveloped.
• If they're saying, "it's not worth it," that likely means that a clear WIIFM (what's in it for me?) for all - element 3 - is missing or underdeveloped.
• If they're saying, "it's going nowhere," that likely means that a concrete implementation plan - element 4 - is missing or underdeveloped.
• If they're saying, "it's just not possible," that likely means that necessary skills, knowledge are tools - element 5 -is missing or underdeveloped.
• If they're saying, "it won't last," that likely means that proper reinforcements - element 6 - is missing or underdeveloped.

Diagnose carefully. These are each different types of problems and, as such, require different types of responses. One size definitely does not fit all. To that end, it might be helpful to consider how your response would vary depending on which element was in question so you don't get trapped into thinking too myopically.

Consider the very real possibility that more than one element is in question, as well, as that is so often the case.

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*source unknown