8-Year Anniversary for GottaGettaCoach!

July 4, 2008 - GottaGettaCoach! is celebrating its 8th anniversary today - thank you to all for your continued support!

And a special thank you to everyone who's ever worked with me, or referred me as an Executive Coach, Management Coach, Leadership Coach, Personal Life Coach, Career Coach, Small Business Coach, or New Coach Mentor, to someone else.

Word-of-mouth recommendations is a truly powerful way for a small business to flourish.

Business Justification Checklist

When establishing the business justification for a request, here are some helpful questions to consider:

• What opportunities does your initiative enable? Note, while it may be most comfortable to lead with this answer, many bosses focus much more on problem-solving than opportunity-seizing. As such, if yours is like that, figure out how to re-frame the opportunity you want to address as a problem in need of being solved.
• What pressing business problems does your initiative solve or at least meaningfully address? Don't forget to articulate the implications of the problem not being meaningfully addressed and how the mere passing-of-time (read: inaction) will impact the situation's ongoing risk and exposure.
• What's the precedent-setting nature of your request? You'll no doubt find that your answer to this question can have some significant implications as to what happens next. As such, it's best you know beforehand so you can speak intelligently on the topic when it inevitably comes up - and modify your request accordingly, if necessary.
• What's the ROI (Return on Investment)? In other words, if things go as planned, how long will it take to recoup the initial investment based on anticipated savings or additional revenues resulting from the investment. If you don't already know, you may also want to benchmark your request against the ROI projections of previously-approved projects and programs.
• What synergy can be expected? How will approving your request also move other initiatives forward? What other expenditures will no longer be needed if this one is approved? Broaden your view - you know your boss will likely go there, so get there first!
• How might existing dollars be used to fund it? While this isn't always possible, there often are lesser-priority initiatives that have already received funding approval that could be de-listed and its monies reallocated. Example: A more expensive seminar - in town - costs the same as a less expensive one requiring travel and lodging; purchasing more expensive equipment than planned might be manageable if there's a resulting reduction in year-over-year maintenance costs.
• In what order do you want to order your points? In that you'll likely have several points you'll want to use as the basis of your business justification, give consideration to the proper sequence of your making them. Whenever I'm providing more than 3 points, I try to lead with my strongest two points, and save my third-strongest for last - a grand finale as it were. Each point should be strong enough to stand on its own merit, though - if it can't, you likely have more homework to do.

Hope this helps you get your next initiative approved.

Making Requests UP the Chain

When making a request up the chain, make it easier for your boss to say 'yes'. Here's how:

1. Pick just one issue at a time - This is not time for a 'kitchen sink' strategy...unless you're planning a major initiative with multiple parts, in which case the major initiative is your issue, not its components
2. Succinctly provide relevant background information - Keyword: "Succinctly". Provide only as much as is needed to justify that the issue warrants attention. Have additional backup/documentation available, but don't assume it will be automatically relevant to the decision to move forward. That said, be sure to articulate the business justification for your request. If all you've got is a BIWI (Because I Want It) then don't bother even starting the conversation.
3. Make a specific request - State clearly and crisply what you're looking for: authorization to do something, permission to not do something, additional funding, additional non-monetary resources? Whatever it is, don't just lay out the issue and make the boss figure out what you want.
4. Be open to a counter-offer - Sometimes you can't get exactly what you propose, but if you're open to the give-and-take of a meaningful discussion on the topic, you might very well get several of the key components of it. And that may really be all you need.

Repeat with other issues as you see fit.

Tim Russert, 1950-2008

A moment of silence.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25145431/

The Five (or Six) Truths About Fear

Susan Jeffers, in her ground-breaking book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, identified five basic truths about fear^a:

1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out … and do it.
3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out … and do it.
4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

"By now you've gotten the picture," writes Dr. Jeffers. "We can't escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us in all our exciting adventures ... Some people have told me they are never afraid, but when I question them, they reveal that we are just differing on semantics. Yes, they feel nervous or anxious sometimes - they simply never labeled it as fear."

Know, though, that whether you label it as fear, or not:

Unfamiliarity with HOW to do something is not the same as Inability TO do something.

So, the next time you find yourself "feeling the fear", or feeling nervous, or anxious, or whatever it is you feel when you're in an unfamiliar space ... STOP ... and remind yourself that just because you haven't done this particular thing before, it does not mean you're incapable of doing it (or learning to do it).

This simple realization is central to all personal / professional growth ... all relationship growth ... all leadership growth ...all life growth ... all everything growth.

So I want to add a 6^th Truth of Fear to the list:

6. Our ability to push through fear has far less to do with the difficulty of a given situation - real or imagined - than it does with our readiness to learn and grow, regardless of circumstance.

As such, it seems to me that fear can be recast as a basic "invitation to learn", rather than an inhibitor of learning.

Ha! I guess you could say that while "opportunity knocks but once," fear rings the bell again and again and again - until you accept its invitation to come out and play!

----
^aTaken from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway^®, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. Copyright ©1987-2008 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

Archived Topic: Fear

For reference purposes, here are some additional posts about "FEAR" from the archives of GottaGettaBlog! and the NotJustTalk! newsletter that were not yet linked with the category label "fear":

• 15 Networking Do's
• Authentically Munch
• Career Day Comments
• Choosing to Choose
• Coaching Next Level Leaders
• Five Keys to Pushing Past Fear
• Hope and Help for Your Nerves
• How to Succeed Like a Workaholic
• improv wisdom
• Taking it Off-Line
• The Real Reason People Don't Change
• The Six Habits of Highly Defective People
• The Wisdom of Letting Go

Candidate City: Chicago!

Congrats to Chicago for becoming one of only four cities in the entire world to make it to the Final Phase of the 2016 Summer Olympic Games host city selection process. How exciting!

Per the Chicago2016.org website:

"Chicago offers a magnificent backdrop in the heartland of America for athletes to compete and spectators to cheer them on. We are a city that prides itself on achieving harmony among our lakefront, our 29 miles of shoreline parks and the city itself. In 1909 Daniel Burnham’s “The Plan of Chicago” introduced a comprehensive design for the city, and it still serves as a guide for planning today. By placing the Olympic Games in the very heart of our city, we will give our global guests the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of the downtown parks and lakefront and offer athletes from around the world a compelling and unique experience.

"A city is only as vibrant and strong as its citizens. Chicagoans embody Midwest values — integrity, hard work and optimism. Our community is a melting pot of ethnicities represented in our neighborhoods by 26 nationalities of more than 25,000 each. And we are passionate about sports, as evidenced by the 8 million tickets sold to sporting events in Chicago every year. We embrace athletes, support them in triumph and despair and are inspired by their efforts. The Olympic and Paralympic Games would likewise inspire us.

"Mayor Richard M. Daley has pledged to make the city the greenest in the country. To that end, he has overseen the planting of a half million trees, bisected major boulevards with median strips spilling over with prairie grasses and colorful blooms and pledged to have the city using renewable sources for 20 percent of its energy needs within five years. Indeed, there’s hardly a neighborhood in which you don’t see some sign of continuing beautification.

"Chicagoans are proud of our past, invigorated by our present and excited about our future. We are energized by the prospect of playing host to the Olympic Games, an event that would showcase and promote global partnership and harmony. We will not only stage an inspiring sporting event but also embrace and strengthen the Olympic Movement. Together we will Stir the Soul™."

Tokyo, Madrid and Rio de Janeiro also in the Final Four, so congratulations to them, too. But I know which city I'm rooting for! Very exciting, indeed.

Stupid Questions and What Happens Next

"There's no such thing as a stupid question."

Wrong. There are all sorts of stupid questions. We hear them every day. We ask them every day. We label them as such every day. And life, amazingly, goes on.

But whether a question is considered stupid or not is not really the issue. What matters more - much more - than the caliber of the question, is what you do with the answer.

If the answer has you (and everyone else in the room) lapse into silence, it probably wasn't a question worth asking - at least not at this particular time, in this particular place, or to this particular person.

If the answer has you say something like, "Well if that's the case, then ....", or "So it logically follows that...", or has you offer up some insightful inference that helps move the conversation meaningfully forward, then it's GOOD you asked your stupid question - GOOD for everyone!

And if the answer has someone else say something like, "Well if that's the case, then ....", or "So it logically follows that...", or has them offer up some insightful inference that helps move the conversation meaningfully forward, then it's REALLY GOOD you asked your stupid question - REALLY GOOD for everyone!

That said, the best way to avoid the harsh glare - and potential embarrassment - from asking a stupid question is to ask it with the intention of applying the answer (whatever it is) in an absolutely brilliant, or at least quasi-intelligent, way. Fear not how you'll do that, just set the intention to do that ... and proceed accordingly.

Not sure how to do that? Not sure how you'd apply the answer (whatever it is) in an absolutely brilliant, or at least quasi-intelligent, way? Then maybe it's a stupid question that's better to not ask at this particular time, in this particular place, or to this particular person.

And what if you're asked a stupid question? Two things on that:

• Thing One: Please, puleeeeeze, don't say, "There's no such thing as a stupid question!" (Sorry, pet peeve of mine.)
• Thing Two: Answer the question thoughtfully and immediately follow-up with a stupid question of your own - something like, "So what can you infer from my answer?"

Professional Development: What Works

New Book Alert: Professional Development: What Works, by Sally J. Zepeda, professor at the University of Georgia in the Department of Lifelong Education, Administration and Policy.

Published less than a month ago by a joint between Eye On Education and the National Staff Development Council, Dr. Zepeda has created "a robust balance of research, theory, and practice" in this, her 17th book.

Per Dr. Zepeda: "I am indebted to the teachers, professional development consultants, principals, and higher education faculty who allowed their practices to be included in this book. These practices are exemplary."

Indeed, one such "outside resource" whose work was discussed (pages 191-193) was yours truly, Barry Zweibel.

Thank you, Sally. I admire your ongoing passion for, commitment to, and leadership in, furthering the ongoing professional development of others.

Motivation 301: Get Them to Desire the Right Things

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to go to the forest to gather wood, saw it, and nail the planks together. Instead, teach them the desire for the sea." - Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Life on Track: In a Minute You Could ...

(a) Be grateful - Write a thank-you card.

(b) Relax - Close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly three times.

(c) Connect - Pick up the phone to call someone you haven't seen in a while.

(d) Gain Perspective - Look out the window toward the horizon.

(e) Think about you - List three things you like the most.

Hey, it's your life, do something wonderful with it ... as in the next 60 seconds!

----
from the April/May 2008 edition of Success magazine
Stopwatch picture courtesy of Wikipedia

The BEST Interview Prep Question EVER

"What question(s) do you hope they don't ask you?"

Now go figure out your answer(s).

How Are You Holding Your Staff Accountable?

• Do you assign tasks to your direct reports that never get done?
• Do you find that if you don't follow-up on open items you never hear about them again?
• Do you have to repeatedly remind people to do what they said they would?
• Do you believe that the quality of the work coming back to you is sub-standard?
• Do you not delegate as much as you might because it's just easier to do it yourself?

Worry not - or at least don't worry a lot about it. The bad news is that you're likely not holding your staff sufficiently accountable for the 'extra' work you give them. The good news, though, is that it's not all that difficult to change that. You simply need to get a little clearer with them about your assignments and their implications:

• The Who - "Here's why I'm choosing you do work on this assignment..." - Maybe it's because it's in the person's area of responsibility, maybe it's because you see this as an important developmental stretch for the person, maybe it's because of some particular competency the individual possesses. Regardless, be clear to whoever is the "Who" that s/he is the "Who."

• The What - "Here's what I specifically want you to accomplish..." - Try being more specific about what you want than you usually are. So if you want pie charts instead of bar graphs for some reason, say so on the front end, before the work is completed. If you want a year-over-year analysis when it's more typical to just give YTD figures, specifically say so. If you want a detailed plan, explain what you mean by "detailed." Since you're the one giving the assignment, you get to be the one who asks for what you really want, not just for something in the neighborhood. And that includes what types of interim updates you want from the person, along the way, as well.

• The Why - "Here's the reason why I want you to do this..." - Don't underestimate the value of explaining your Why to people. It really helps. Two caveats, though: (1) if you're in a real crisis situation (not just feeling under pressure) you may not have time to explain the Why, so quickly state that fact and offer to provide the additional background information about your request once the crisis subsides, if the person is still interested; (2) if it's clear that your delegatee truly understands the Why already, it may not be necessary to provide line-and-verse about it. It's best to be sure, though, which you can do by simply asking them to explain to you the Why. Don't forget to explain the Why behind your those interim updates you want, either.

• The When -"I'd like to get the finished product back from you by..." - Back in my days in the telecommunications world I worked with a purchasing agent (I'll call her Phyllis) who taught me a very important lesson about the When. I needed some telecom gear in a hurry, so I filled out the necessary paperwork and in the box that asked "When Needed" I put the letters ASAP, meaning As Soon As Possible. When the gear didn't come, I went to visit Phyllis personally to find out what was (not) going on. "Didn't you see my ASAP?" I asked her. "Yes, I did," she replied, "But Barry, you have to understand, I'm a very busy person. And there are only so many hours in a day. It was just not possible for me to get to your request yet." And she was dead-serious. "So what am I supposed to do if I really need something right away, Phyllis?" I asked while teetering on the edge of insanity. "Oh, that's easy, just put today's date in the When Needed box on the form," she said with a smile that curiously made it seem like she was really trying to be helpful. "Really?!" "Yes, really!" So a few days later I tried Phyllis' suggestion ... and you know what? It worked perfectly! The moral of this story: Make sure you're asking for the right When in the right way. And that includes the When you want those interim updates, too.

There's the Where and the How, too, but I'll leave them to you to figure out.

I'll also leave to you an obvious implication of all of this: You'll likely need to think through the Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How a bit more before you start to delegate. If you do, though, I guarantee it will be time well spent.

From (totally) Perfect to (merely) Excellent

I work a lot with executives who relish their perfectionism - and why not, it's what, in large part, got them promoted to be executives.

To help them 're-frame' how they think about their work, I have them do a little exercise. First, I have them draw a line from left to right, with arrows on each end; a continuum, if you will:

On it, I then have them put a big A on the far left and label it (inescapably) Awful; and a big P on the far right and label it (totally) Perfect. Like this, perhaps:

I then ask where on the line they'd put an E,which stands for (merely) Excellent - still excellent, but just barely so.

E

If you do this exercise yourself, be sure to notice that wherever you put your E - it's likely somewhat left of P, but still considerably to the right of A. That is, meaningfully less than (totally) Perfect, but still nowhere near (inescapably) Awful.

My challenge to them - and to you - is to spend the next two weeks operating in the E space - wherever it's located - to see what that's like.

If you do, you'll likely find, as they do, that not one person (excepting yourself) will notice any decrease in your performance whatsoever. And, by allowing yourself to be just (merely) Excellent you'll free up literally hours of time in your workweek - and at home - that you can then use to complete several other things in a (merely) Excellent way AND still have time to clean up your overflowing email inbox already, for crying out loud!

It's a fun little experiment, one that I invite you to try.

And what if someone becomes dissatisfied with your (merely) Excellent performance? Don't worry. For now, just apologize and indulge yourself in making things (totally) Perfect.

It'll still be the exception, rather than the rule.

28 Common Leadership Mistakes

How many of these leadership and management mistakes do you make?

1. Thinking and acting like you know all the answers
2. Confusing delegation with 'dumping'
3. Not being really real or genuine
4. Not being an exemplary role model
5. Treating staff like children
6. Not practicing The Platinum Rule^® - treating others as they wish to be treated
7. Not knowing what you want people's value-added to be
8. Not communicating the context for certain decisions you make or override
9. Saying, "...because I'm the boss" as justification for, basically, anything
10. Not saying, "...sorry, my bad"
11. Discounting constructive feedback instead of learning from it
12. Not really listening
13. Fooling yourself into thinking that you are listening (when you're not)
14. Not addressing the right issues
15. Not knowing what the right issues are that need to be addressed
16. Giving vague or 'coded' answers to requests for specific information
17. Not stimulating healthy debate among your staff and peers - even if it makes you wrong
18. Not admitting that you made the exact same mistake once (or twice) yourself
19. Being too serious
20. Being too fast to judge others
21. Not realizing that the goal is not to make the best decision possible, but to make the best decision given the time allotted and the info available
22. Feeling threatened by your staff's competence and zealousness
23. Not saying what you mean
24. Not meaning what you say
25. Not saying, 'Thank you', 'please', and 'nice job' often enough
26. Not saying, 'Let's talk about how to do this more efficiently' often enough
27. Discouraging others from taking vacation or leaving work early from time to time
28. Forgetting that a true leader never stops learning about how to be an even better leader

For the ones you recognize yourself doing, start tracking how many times you do them each week. You'll be amazed at the power that little tick marks can have in helping you to modify your attitude and behavior.

Hello, Barry? This is the BBC News calling...

I got a call today from the BBC News. And oddly enough, it seemed perfectly fitting, having just completed a morning call with a client in London. But it was not about her. It was about me...or so I thought.

"Hello, Barry?" asked the man with the decidedly British accent. "This is the BBC News calling..."

It seems they wanted to do a piece on Clinton vs. Obama, but with a twist. The BBC wanted to interview an American Life Coach to talk about how one would coach the ultimate loser of the nomination - whoever that would be. Is that a great topic, or what?!

Unfortunately, they wanted the life coach to come to their Washington D.C. office to do the interview ... this afternoon! Sorry, can't get there from here (Chicago) by then. Oh well.

Nevertheless, I thought it'd be interesting to consider - and blog about - how I might coach Hillary or Barack if the situation actually did present itself. And, while the specific questions I'd ask would likely emerge as our conversation unfolded, I'm pretty sure I'd approach the dialogue in this way:

1a. Public "Do" questions - That is, questions to get at what was needed to deal most effectively with the situation publicly today, and moving forward. Yes, they'd be pretty obvious, but when dealing with high-powered coaching clients, it's important to create a safe path before traveling into deeper, more personal, areas of discussion.

• What will be the primary message of your public statement about this?
• What relationships do you need to circle back to - to thank and/or repair?
• What else needs to be mopped up a bit?

1b. Private "Do" questions - These would be similar to 1a-type questions, but would focus more on what the individual needed to do, privately, to turn the page as it were.

• Now that this is over, what do you need to do for yourself?
• What makes that so important for you?
• How can you get more of that for yourself more quickly?

2a. Public "Be" questions - Public figures are identified, in many ways, by what they stand for. Given that, a whole series of questions can be asked about how they want to show up and "be" publicly.

• How important is it to you that your constituents' issues continue to have a meaningful platform?
• From a historical perspective, how do you want your role in this campaign to be remembered?
• What is your message to the American people about the importance of trying, even if you don't succeed?

2b. Private "Be" questions - This is really the heart of coaching, questions designed to help an individual better understand how to stand in the world.

• So, how are you with not having won - as in really?!
• What do you need to feel 'complete' about this and be ready for whatever comes next?
• What are you most proud of for having made happen during the campaign?
• What are your Lessons Learned that made your campaign particularly worthwhile?
• How has this empowered you, as a person, moving forward?

It's hard to say how much any of this would resonate for the non-nominee. It's hard to know how receptive s/he would be to even having this conversation. But I suspect that whoever it would be with, it'd likely be an important conversation for the person to have ... for the good of the the individual ... the Democratic Party ... and the people of the United States of America.

To think it was all spurred by the BBC News calling. Jolly good.

Jolly good, indeed!

Poem In Your Pocket Day

Yup, that's right. Not only is April National Poetry Month, but April 17th is Poem in Your Pocket Day!

"The idea is simple:" says the Academy of American Poets. "[S]elect a poem you love during National Poetry Month then carry it with you to share with co-workers, family, and friends on April 17. Poems from pockets will be unfolded throughout the day with events in parks, libraries, schools, workplaces, and bookstores."

Or, if you prefer, you can download your favorite poems to your cell or smart phone: Poems to go!

Now I'm not a big fan of poetry, per se, but in honor of the day, let me pull out an old fave, Knots, by "Independent British Psychoanalyst, Social Phenomenologist, Radical Psychiatrist, Existential Philosopher," and poet if you ask me, R. D. Laing.

Here's an excerpt from Knots:

There must be something the matter with him
because he would not be acting as he does
unless there was
therefore he is acting as he is
because there is something the matter with him

He does not think there is anything the matter with him
because
one of the things that is
the matter with him
is that he does not think that there is anything
the matter with him

therefore
we have to help him realize that,
the fact that he does not think there is anything
the matter with him
is one of the things that is
the matter with him

(Can you see why the piece is called Knots?!)

What Makes the Google Search Engine - and Leadership - So Good

Friday's post looked at what search engine optimization can can teach us about leadership. Today, let's look at what we can learn about leadership from Google and how it manages its search engine infrastructure.

First some perspective from John Dvorak's Inside Track (PC Magazine, April 2006):

"Anyone who runs a blog can clearly see the search engine bots as they roam through a Web site. The Google bots will show up and scan the site perhaps ten times as frequently as either the MSN or the Yahoo! bots. Combining the MSN and Yahoo! bots still does not even come close to the Google bots' level of activity.

"This is the real key to Google's success in search. Google is better because it works harder - or at least the computers work harder. Everybody wants to believe that there is some magical algorithm that makes Google the winner. That's not it. It's the relentless crawling of the Net that does the job.

"[And] Google continues to make this network of Web crawlers bigger by the day."

So what's this got to do with Leadership? I submit that if you increase your scanning of the world around you (as the Googlebots do) and incorporate what you find into:

• the questions you ask
• the answers you give
• the views you hold
• the directives you give
• the conversations you have
• the conclusions you reach
• the 'pinging' you do
• the activities you engage in

...you'll become a a better leader - a much better leader.

Try it this week and see for yourself.

An SEO - that is, Leadership - Audit and Upgrade

How does SEO (search engine optimization) connect with you becoming a better leader? Whether you know anything about getting better website rankings on Google, or not, let's take a closer look courtesy of Website Magazine, and author Dante A. Monteverde, as to commonalities between improving organic search engine placements and leadership excellence:

• SEO Resolution: "Resolve to complete an SEO audit of your website." The idea here is that there are all sorts of things behind the scenes on a website (like meta tags, alt tags, keyword phrases, and h1, h2, and h3 tags, as example) that can affect search engine rankings. so too with your leadership style.

GGCI Leadership Corollary: "Resolve to complete an audit of your leadership infrastructure." That is, look behind the scenes at what helps you lead how you lead. How effectively do you keep track of (and hold others accountable for) the things you delegate?

How effectively do you keep track of (and honor) the commitments you make? How sufficiently do you prepare for difficult conversations? What tone and mood do you bring to work each day? Objectively audit such leadership infrastructure elements and upgrade, as necessary.

• SEO Resolution: "Resolve to update your content." In website parlance, this refers to adding new materials to your website so that it's interesting enough for people come back to it to see what's new and what else they can learn from it. GottaGettaBlog! is an example of one way to do that.

GGCI Leadership Corollary: "Resolve to further your leadership discussions." What new aspects of leadership are you learning and sharing with your staff, colleagues, upper management, and vendor contacts, about leadership? What subtleties of human performance and motivation are you studying?

What questions do you have about effectively leading people that you can incorporate into your conversations with others? Objectively audit your leadership conversations and upgrade, as necessary.

• SEO Resolution: "Resolve to obtain new incoming links." One of the ways that Google and the other search engines determine where a site should be placed on its rankings is by how many other sites have hyperlinks to that site. The basic idea is that as more and more sites refer to another site in its own content, the value of that other site is continually enhanced. (No wonder they call it link love!!)

GGCI Leadership Corollary: "Resolve to help others say good things about you." It's long been know that the more that people say good things about you - especially if they're people from other departments - the better raises and bonuses you'll likely get. (See More Needed Than Good Work, a blog posting I did on this topic almost four years ago!)

People who do this effectively are called network entrepreneurs as they recognize the value derived from building their personal and professional contacts and connections with an entrepreneurial zeal.

The thing to remember is that people can't say good things about you - even if they want to - if they don't know what good things you've been up to. Objectively audit how good of a network entrepreneur you are and upgrade, as necessary.

The article goes on to identify other key SEO Resolutions, as well, but I think you get the point:

It's probably a good time to audit - and upgrade - your Leadership Style, as necessary, yes?!

Who's in Your Doghouse?

We get mad. We get cranky. We judge. We blame. We put people on ice. Send them to Siberia. Put them in the doghouse. And there they stay, sometimes for a very looooooong time.

But it can be exhausting to be annoyed at too many individual people at any one time. And you miss out on all their otherwise goodness, if you do.

So, if you're thinking that your doghouse needs a room addition this spring, maybe it's a good time to take stock of who's in there and when they might be up for parole.

Here's how to tell if it might be time to turn the page:

1. If you can't remember exactly why you're mad at someone, it might be time to forgive and forget;
2. If your 'why' is more than 7 days old, it might be time to just let go of it, already;
3. If you've been waiting for the other person to apologize, it might be time for you to be the one who extends the olive branch first;
4. If you're not sure what to say, it might be time to just jump in and start swimming;
5. If your righteous indignation has taken control of your spirit, it might be time to focus back on all that's good in the world.

Or you can just stay mad.

But, it might be easier to just give some people the benefit of the doubt and let them out of your doghouse; let them get back in your good graces, as it were.

Not only will that save you the trouble of having to build a bigger place for all these troublemakers, it will also create some much-needed space for the next batch of ne'er-do-wells who will likely be getting on your bad side, moving forward.

New Thinking; New Doing

Ever have one of those weeks where nothing seems to go right?! While it's perfectly normal for that to happen from time to time, the bigger question is:

"Is there anything you can you do, besides just being patient, to help insure that next week will be better?"

I believe there is and that the answer has a lot to do with what I'll call New Thinking; New Doing. The idea is to force your brain to create new synapses - ones that wouldn't normally occur - as a way of jump-starting your mind into a more resourceful place. Here's how:

1. Pick a topic, preferably one you have some definite views about
2. Take the other side of the story and embrace it even more fervently
3. Smile at how clever you are to have been able to do that

Some examples?

• If you're a New York Yankees fan, be a die-hard BoSox supporter for a day and see how your fanaticism is far more transferable than you realized.
• If you're a red, red, meat eater, be a vegan for a few days and see what happens to your views about food.
• If you're a strident Barack Obama supporter figure out what Hillary Clinton should do to win the Democratic Party's nomination.
• If you're classical music lover, switch to jazz or C&W and allow the emotions of the music to 'speak' to you.

One of the things that keep us stuck - especially when things get tough - is when we become even more entrenched with what we believe to be true. Consciously challenging yourself (and your myopia) is precisely what New Thinking; New Doing is all about.

See what it can do for you.

Slacker Radio Rocks, or Chills, or Any Other Style of Music

PC Magazine calls it, "The most exciting thing in digital music to happen in a long time."

Forbes says, "Slacker's No Slouch."

CNET News.com calls it, "a distinctive new Web music service."

I just think it's a great on-line music companion that offers an incredibly wide array of music styles, and a surprisingly deep collection of artists and song titles for my listening pleasure - without commercial interruption ... especially if you enjoy "alternative" musicianship.

Try it yourself: Just head over to www.slacker.com, select the type of music you like, and click the 'play' button. (I'm listening to its Alternative Chill at the moment - and loving it.)

Building Employee Trust

Building Employee Trust: A New Equation, is the title of a book recently published by Icfai University Press in Hyderabad, India. It's a compilation of "relevant, authoritative, and thought-provoking articles written by experts" and it features one such article by yours truly, Barry Zweibel.

The article, entitled, "The Dangerous Allure of Trust," is the capstone of Section I of the book and is a reprint of a piece I wrote and had published in the October 2006 edition of Effective Executive magazine, another Icfai University Press publication.

Fear 303: A Revised Model of Fear

Last month I forwarded a model - Fear 101 - to explain how many people conceptualize fear. As you may recall, there was an inner core of Fearlessness, surrounded by a ring of Courageousness, encapsulated in a vast Infinity and Beyond called, The Land of Fear.

Since then, I've received numerous emails and phone calls from people telling me that that's exactly how they envision fear, too. Very gratifying, indeed.

The Next Step in the process, then, was for me was to figure out how to re-frame fear so that it would not be so large-and-in-charge as it is in the Fear 101 model. The “aha moment” came once I was ready to accept the possibility that Infinity and Beyond was just too big and unlimited a space for fear to claim so unilaterally. It was only then that I realized that Infinity and Beyond was not, ipso facto, the Land of Fear – it was simply a Benign Unknown.

What a wonderful shift!

The resultant upgrade, dubbed Fear 303, looks and works as such:

Starting at the back of the pack is this huge Benign Unknown stretching out in most directions. Within it (and bubbling out of it in places) is this thing called Opportunity.

So that we're clear, Opportunity is a good thing.

Next, as the blue bubble indicates, our natural response to Opportunity is often Fearlessness. This, too, is a good thing, as Fearlessness often empowers us to positively leverage Opportunity.

For sticklers to detail, it should be noted that the Fear 303 model recognizes that, sometimes, Fearlessness splashes out past Opportunity and into other areas of the Benign Unknown that may neither be opportunities, nor so benign. But that's just the way things are, sometimes, right? (I failed to recognize that in Fear 202, which is why I didn't post it between 101 and 303.)

So here’s where I think it gets nice and juicy: Instead of allowing Fear to "own" all of Infinity and Beyond, Fear is now relegated to a small little cloud in the lower right-hand corner of the diagram. Like Fearlessness, Fear also overlays Opportunity - some opportunities do, indeed, frighten us - and parts of Fear splash out, as well, into the Benign Unknown, and into parts of the Unknown that may not be benign. That really is the way things are, sometimes, right?!

But in the Fear 303 model, Fear is clearly a whole lot less featured – especially when you consider how Fear is mostly covered by Courageousness in service to Opportunity.

Sure, sometimes Fear still prevents us from moving forward, but it does so to a considerably lesser extent than in Fear 101. Indeed, once we recognize that Fear does not have to be our default reaction to the Unknown, it is majorly dis-empowered and has significantly less automatic say-so over how we react to what's going on around us. We are at choice.

That feels very motivating (and plausible) to me. How does it feel to you?

Creatively Sparking Creativity

Just finished reading a truly fascinating interview with Mario Almondo, director of human resources and organization at Ferrari in the April 2006 issue of the Harvard Business Review. (Yeah, 2006; I'm a little behind on my reading, okay?!)

In it he spoke about their Formula Uomo program. (Uomo=Human Being).

"You can't methodically teach creativity," says Almondo, "But you can provide an environment that nurtures it."

Two programs of particular note:

1. English@breakfast - Italian-speaking employees can start their workday by practicing their English. They can also practice at lunch (English@lunch) or in the afternoon (English@tea) or in German (Deutsche Party), if they prefer. "Employees really enjoy these sessions, and, obviously, having multilingual employees is good for Ferrari."
2. The Creativity Club - In this program, employees can actually meet, talk with, and ask questions of, different types of artists. "We've had painters, sculptors, a jazz musician, a writer, a radio DJ, a photographer, a chef, an actor, an orchestra conductor, and others," Almondo reports. "The goal is for our employees to learn about how artists generate ideas and solutions."

Interestingly, these programs are open to all employees, not just some, and not just to those at certain organizational levels. So there's all sorts of opportunities for senior executives and front-line personnel to interrelate ... as people ... rather than as a function of role, title, project, or assignment.

Too, "by holding the club at the firm, rather than, say, encouraging employees to take art courses elsewhere, we're hoping people will make links between the inspiration they get and their professional activities here."

Imagine how this builds comfort, connectedness, information- and idea-sharing, collegiality, engagement - and creativity - throughout the rest of the year ... in hallways, elevators, meetings, break rooms, coffee shops, and such ... up, down, and across, the entire organization.

That's assolutamente fantastico, sì?!

Office conditions leave room for improvement

This in from the L.A. Times: Filthy bathroom facilities and extreme office temperatures are most common gripes of unhappy workers:

"Forget salaries, expense accounts or keys to the executive washroom. Employee loyalty is won or lost over the cleanliness of the bathrooms and the amount of sticky goo on the carpet."

Citing a recently-conducted survey of 500 workers by Blumberg Capital Partners, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Molly Selvin reports that "More than three quarters of those polled said the overall condition of their offices affected how they viewed their employer and whether they were likely to stay in their jobs."

In a January 23, 2006 blog posting titled, How DO You Motivate Employees? I talked about Frederick Herzberg's notion of hygiene factors* - things related to the job context, or environment, that don't necessarily motivate people by their presence, but almost always demotivate by their absence. Some of the hygiene factors cited included:

• company policy and administration
• quality of supervision
• relationship with supervisor
• work conditions
• salary
• relationship with peers
• relationship with subordinates
• status
• security

Like chlorine in a swimming pool, the presence of hygiene factors don't necessarily make anyone feel more healthy (or even more motivated), but their absence will likely make people feel less healthy, and, as this article concludes, surely less motivated.

And now we can add the bathroom cleanliness to the list of literal - and figurative - workplace hygiene factors.

----

*In contrast to hygiene factors, Herzberg identified what he called, true motivators - things that really do motivate employees - that are typically related to one's job content, like achievement, recognition, the work itself, responsibility, opportunity for advancement, and growth.)

Foreclosure, a novel by Jacqueline D'Acre

Former GottaGettaCoach! client, Jacqueline D'Acre, from Thunder Bay, Canada by way of New Orleans, just had her new novel, Foreclosure, published by Stargazer Press. ISBN: 978-1-897424-00-1.

Per its back cover:

"What do murder, horses and Lila’s creole diner have in common?

"Head down to St. Tremaine Parish near New Orleans and find out. Meet Bryn Wiley, a mild equine writer, who discovers a show horse breeder facing financial ruin, foreclosure and far worse! Then the sheriff fingers a champion stallion as a killer…but Bryn believes otherwise! Wherever there are horses there are money, deception and powerful secrets.

"Can Bryn unmask the real murderer before the stallion gets a lethal injection? In the sultry Louisiana heat, she roams New Orleans seeking a slayer—in a desperate race to save the stallion! The story drips with sweat, Spanish moss, a voodoo queen, blooded horses and quirky Deep South characters."

A horse breeder, columnist, and radio show talk host about horses, Jackie has a whole series of books planned with Bryn Wiley solving mysteries - and all will "swirl within the thrilling world of show horses."

Congrats on this wonderful accomplishment, Jackie!

To order Foreclosure: www.stargazerpress.com/foreclosure.html.

Fear 101: A Model

I've been talking to a number of people about fear lately and decided to diagram what a prevailing mental model is for many with respect to fear:

As you see, the inner core represents one's fearlessness – that is the place where we have no fear. For some this is a very big place; for others it can be fairly small. As they say, individual results may vary.

Surrounding this inner core is a ring of courageousness – the place where, as Susan Jeffers^a would say, we are willing to "feel the fear and do it, anyway."

As with the fearlessness core, the courageousness ring is a very big place for some, and a relatively small place for others. Too, and this is something you've likely already experienced yourselves, the actual size of these two areas will vary greatly depending on circumstance, mood, comfort level, and a variety of other variables.

Surrounding all of that – and this was the real light bulb realization for me, as it may be for you – is a veritable Infinity and Beyond ... of fear. Yes, for many people, anything outside of what they're already fearless - or willing to be courageous - about, is a never ending Land of Fear.

Of course, not everyone looks at it this way - although a surprising number of people really do. (And to a certain extent, you might, too, if you're being really honest with yourself.) So perhaps you can appreciate that I mean no disrespect when I say,

This is hardly a Model for Champions!

What it is, though, is a pretty frightening diagram. Scary to even look at, actually, with its big, hairy, eyeball staring back like that. Remember that Far Side cartoon – “Warning: Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” and all you see is one big, fat, blood-shot, monster’s eyeball?! Like that, don't you think?!

Although that may just be the fear talking!

But, when we consider that virtually everything outside of our fearlessness and courageousness zones is in the Land of Fear, it's no wonder why feelings of fear, worry, and doubt can seem so incessant. After all, Infinity and Beyond, by it's very definition, is a pretty big place!

Okay, so this said,the Next Step is to figure out how to re-frame our model so that fear is not so featured as the kingpin of the whole thing.

Stay tuned!

----
^a Taken from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway^®, Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. Copyright ©1987-2008 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

30 Reasons to Work with a Coach

Giving a bit of profile to one of the 'interior' pages of my website, specifically: http://www.ggci.com/management-coaching/mentoring.htm, which is titled, 30 Reasons to Say: "Wow! I think I GottaGettaCoach!"

Here's a sampling:

# 4: to address your developmental needs as seen by your boss
# 8: to help you get past being stuck about something
#10: to help better organize and articulate your thinking
#15: to help you become more comfortable with ambiguity
#24: to help you let go of unhealthy perfectionism
#29: to help you get past the grousing

To see the others, link to: http://www.ggci.com/management-coaching/mentoring.htm.

What the Shadow Knows, redux

You know you've been blogging a long time when you find yourself blogging - again - about an eclipse. (Ref: What the Shadow Knows, October 28, 2004)

It got me thinking - again - about the shadows WE cast - intentionally or otherwise:

• Who walks in YOUR shadow?
• Who's HIDDEN by your shadow?
• What ELSE is hidden in your shadow?
• What shadows are YOU hiding in?
• Whose shadow is hiding YOU?
• How might you shine a big fat spotlight on things so you can better see - and be seen?

Do yourself a favor and wonder about all this for a while - again.

Remembering to Remember (BEFORE you Forget)

The Chicago Tribune reported today on Page 1 (why there I'm not sure, but regardless) that in a world of computers, smart phones, and multitasking, the experts agree:

"[I]t's unlikely such gadgets actually are harming our capacity to remember. But when it comes to memory, there's little doubt that it's a case of use it or lose it."

So, for the nearly 80 million Baby Boomers worrying about the possibilities debilitating memory loss through Alzheimer's or dementia - and any of you wanting to improve your "memorability" or whatever the word is (!!) - here are 7 tips for recalling names and faces, courtesy of Tony Dottino, chair of the USA Memory Championship (whose next competition is March 8 in NYC, if memory serves):

1. When meeting someone, focus on what you're going to learn about that person, not on what you are going to say.
2. When you hear the person's name, try to repeat it or ask about its spelling.
3. Ask for a business card or write the name down immediately after leaving the person. The more senses you engage - hearing, saying and seeing the name - the more likely you will remember.
4. Learn at least four things about the person, such as what the person does for a living and where the person lives. The more you know, the easier it will be to recall him or her.
5. As you say goodbye, repeat the person's name.
6. Pretend you have to introduce this person to a friend and swiftly review the information you've gathered.
7. Make remembering a game. The more you stress over it, the less you'll remember.

Superbrain Yoga, anyone?

I just read about something called Superbrain Yoga^® - a seemingly simple and reportedly effective technique for energizing and recharging the brain that's based on the principles of subtle energy and ear acupuncture.

AARP magazine ran the story on Superbrain Yoga in its March/April 2008 edition. Here's what they had to say:

"While yoga has long been shown to affect mood, one yoga move in particular is getting attention for boosting brainpower. Superbrain Yoga, as the exercise is called, is being practiced across the country as an antidote to brain drain. Go ahead. Try it!

"Step 1 - Place your left hand on your right earlobe, thumb on the front of the lobe with fingernail facing outward and second finger behind the earlobe. Then, with your right hand, grasp your left earlobe, again keeping your thumb on the front of the lobe, facing outward. Press both earlobes simultaneously, making sure your left arm is close to your chest and inside your right (which devotees say helps energy travel upward to the brain).

"Step 2 - As you press on the earlobes, squat down, keeping your back straight. Do 10 to 12 deep bends, inhaling through the nose on the way down and exhaling through the mouth coming up.

"Step 3 - Repeat daily."

Has anyone had any experience with Superbrain yoga? If so, please share.